Left my heart in Sydney

Recently, I took a very brief but rewarding trip to Sydney...when I say recently, I should clarify that I left Australia just about 12 hours ago! It was my first time back in Australia in 16 years and my first as an adult. It had been so long that I knew the experience would be akin to visiting this unique country for the very first time, even though I actually spent my teenage years in the country's capital. I enjoyed growing up in Australia so it wasn't like I vowed never to return but the responsibilities that come with getting older took away the luxury of being able to run off to any destination whenever I please. Somehow, 16 years had flown by. Coming back here allowed me to reflect on how has happened in my life since I last stepped foot on this remote land down under.

Even though I grew up in Canberra, I had visited Sydney dozens of time so I didn't feel obligated to do too much sightseeing. I wanted to come here, catch up with some dear friends and spend time in the city centre to get a flavour of what the Sydney cosmopolitan experience is like in comparison to London and New York. I stayed at the Swissotel Sydney, which was an excellent choice. Located right in the heart of the city's Central Business District, I was in easy walking distance to the main landmarks within the city centre, including UNESCO World Heritage site Sydney Opera House. I was so central that looking out one of the windows (they kindly put me in a corner room), it was as if the Telstra Tower was right next door!

Sydney is one of those rare hub cities where you have the best of both worlds; it is a commercial and cultural epicentre that is located along a coastline so not only can you go to the visit the museum of contemporary art or see a production of 'South Pacific' at the Opera House but you can also spend a lazy Sunday afternoon at a heavenly beach. There are plenty of beaches to choose from around the city but the most famous Sydney beach has got to be Bondi Beach. My friends took me to Bondi the day that I arrived and as far as jet lag-relieving activities go, lying in the sand as you watch hunky surfers and lifeguards going through training drills wearing their little 'cossies' is definitely not a bad choice. It was as if my Sunday had turned into an Aussiebum swimwear photoshoot!

An indirect benefit of this trip was my heightened appreciate of the gay scene in London. Although it has long been considered one of the gay capitals of the world, a reputation that has been cemented in the past few decades by the world-renowned Sydney Gay Mardi Gras, the nightlife culture here is somewhere less developed compared to London and New York. The 'scene' is concentrated all in one area, along the stretch of Oxford Street in Darlinghurst. The bars and pubs that I visited with my friend all seem slightly dated, both in decor and the clientele. I don't intend to be flippant and it is certainly not my intention to make an ageist remark. There is nothing wrong with places that are welcoming and casual but from what my friends tell me, there is not a great deal of variety in the scene. People tend to go out only at the weekend. Unfortunately for me, I spent the weekend travelling to Australia so it would be unfair for me to say too much more about the scene here. Still, even if the gay nightlife in Sydney is somewhat lacking during the week, that is not to say that I didn't have a fabulous time going out during my trip. My friends and I went to some memorable cocktails at some of the most glamourous hotels in town. I found style and sophistication in abundance so if you are a traveller who enjoys the finer things in life, you will love Sydney, especially if you are staying in the CBD.

Anyway, I just arrived in Bangkok not long ago but I'm still on Sydney time and it's already 8:30am so I should probably go to bed soon. Here's hoping that it won't be another 16 years until my next trip to Australia!

BOYcotting Russia

Yesterday evening, I was catching up with a couple of close friends and seeing as we're a group of socially aware gay men, talk inevitably turned to what is going on in Russia with their anti-gay propaganda legislation, which was signed into law by President Vladimir Putin in July. This legislation, in a nutshell, prohibits any discussion about alternative sexual orientation and lifestyle around minors. The logic, I'm guessing, is that hearing about the existence of gays and lesbians will automatically 'corrupt' children, 'turn' them and basically, there goes the perpetuation of the human race. Yes, because it is really that simple to turn someone gay. If this was truly the case, my local gym would be a whole lot more happening on a Tuesday night!

Anyway, all of this got me thinking about all the backlash that Russia is facing. I see on Facebook about people going to rallies outside the Russian embassy in London to protest this discriminatory law and I read about the city council of Amsterdam greeting Putin on his state visit to the Netherlands a few months ago by flying the rainbow flag across the city. I have read about gay bars boycotting Russian vodka to make a statement. While I think a statement should be made, I'm not sure if giving up vodka really says much about the character and integrity of the LGBT community. I mean, I get that vodka is more symbolic of Russia than most of their other exports but if we really want to have a substantial economic impact with a boycott, shouldn't we, maybe, boycott something like oil, gas, metals, minerals, machinery and other glamourous items like that? Of course, I'm only kidding...fuck their vodka; I'm more of a G&T man myself!

I read on a few gay news blogs today that on Russian television, a high-profile current affairs pundit by the name of Dmitri Kisilev said that gay people are of such low value that if they were to die and their hearts were to be donated to save the lives of others, 'their hearts...should be buried in the ground or burned as unsuitable for the continuation of life'. Now, as much as it makes me blood boil to read such hateful speech against people like me, I have to say that the comments posted by gay readers on these blogs, most of whom probably live in the English-speaking western world, do not exactly give me much hope for humanity either. One response said something about how 'the gulags didn't kill enough of these people'. While I am as guilty of generalizing as much as the next guy, I do feel like there needs to be some sort of measured response to the situation. We cannot lump all Russians into the same category. What about all the LGBT Russians who are living in a state that do not see them as citizens of equal value? Are they not worthy of our support and compassion? Similarly, I don't doubt that there are many straight allies who do not feel the same way as President Putin and Mr Kisilev. Recently, there has been a spate of gay bashings in New York but you don't hear people say, let's boycott New York coz every single New Yorker must be a goddamn homophobe! When La Manif Pour Tous, a French anti-gay marriage group, made headlines with their flamboyant and curiously homoerotic protests against the recent passage of same sex marriage in France, I never heard anyone suggest that we all get mad at zee French and start boycotting Champagne. Pourquoi pas? Probably because we're all a little hypocritical and hold a double standard for certain countries, especially the ones that are a greater cultural distance to ours...and also, because Champagne is fabulous.

Considerable brouhaha has been made about the idea of boycotting the 2014 Winter Olympics, which are set to be held in the Russian resort city of Sochi. After all, not only would it send a big message to the Russian government and their gay-hating ways but if participating countries were to withdraw from the competition, they would not be putting their LGBT athletes at risk by sending them to a country that threatens to punish them for being who they are. I don't know if I agree with this, not necessarily because I agree that politics have no place at the Olympics. After all, the Olympics are supposed to be about unity and how can there be unity when the host country is threatening to throw certain members of their own society, as well as those from other countries, into jail just for their very existence. However, I agree with the notion that the people who will be competing at the games have trained so hard for years that it would be wrong to deny them their moment to shine. I can only hope that the Olympic committee will do as much as they can to protect all of their participants from the hostile elements of the host country's society.

One of my friends from last night made a rather good point that people seem to be making a bigger deal about what's going on in Russia than they do about all the anti-gay rhetoric, legislation and violence that we all know go on across many countries in Africa. Uganda's 'Kill the Gays' bill, in particularly, drew a lot of attention in recent years. How come we do not hold these African nations to the same standard that we seem to be applying to Russia? Again, it all boils down to our own double standards and hypocrisy. If we are to be self-righteous in the fight against escalating fascism in one of the world's super powers, let's at least acknowledge our own shortcomings so that we can improve our own society before try to change others.

We are on our way...

Yesterday was a significant day; the UK's House of Commons passed a key vote proposing same sex marriage in England and Wales. While this measure does not automatically mean that this bill has passed into law, the overwhelming majority that voted in favour (a majority of 225 votes) pretty much guarantees its passage in the House of Lords, where the bill now goes. After all, it is highly unlikely that the unelected house would overrule a clear decision made by the elected house. If, as we expect it to, this bill gets enacted by the summer, as Prime Minister David Cameron plans to do, England and Wales will follow in the footsteps of less than a dozen countries around the world where there is same sex marriage. By this, I don't mean civil unions or partnerships or PACS (as they're called in France); I mean marriage in the traditional sense of the word, redefined as an institution to be more inclusive and encompassing of the social values of our constantly evolving world.

Even though this was the Conservative government's initiative, they faced a great deal of dissent from their backbenchers (with 136 Tory MPs opposing the bill), many of whom protested that such a proposal undermines the very essence of being the Conservative Party. However, I think that it's fairly obvious what Cameron's strategy with this is; it is to show younger voters, who might not be inclined to vote Conservative, that they are in touch with modern society and are prepared to evolve with it. It also demonstrates that the government is capable of working with the opposition on a social issue (with most Labour and Liberal Democrat MPs supporting the bill), one that is, arguably, even in 2013, still fairly divisive. Whatever the political motivations, I applaud them for carrying on the legacy of the Labour party who brought in civil partnerships less than a decade ago and going the full monty with what is the cornerstone of the struggle for gay rights equality. It's a step in the right direction. With no disrespect to the 11 pioneering countries that brought in same sex marriage before us (including Netherlands, Canda, Spain, South Africa and Argentina), the rest of the world will take notice of this. The UK will be the example that they may, one day, follow.

In the meantime, let's enjoy the music video below from Macklemore & Ryan Lewis for their moving pro-same sex marriage song 'Same Love'.

Queen of Silom Soi 2

Today, my mother and I had the pleasure of going out to lunch with my dear aunt Pah Maliwan and her friend Pah Naruhnee. I have known Pah Naruhnee ever since I was little as she has been best friends with my aunt for decades and I have always known that she was the landlord of a small commercial area in central Bangkok but it was always very vague to me. We dined at Grand San Yord, which is famous in Bangkok for its tender and sweet roast duck, and being the Ah Mahs that they are, both aunties told me to finish the last prawn dumpling.

Pah Naruhnee said 'Eat this and you'll end up with a beautiful wife', to which I replied 'But I don't want a beautiful wife'. Without missing a beat, Pah Maliwan said 'Eat this and you'll end up with a handsome husband'. While I have never really discussed my sexuality with older relatives so much, it has been an open secret for a while now but in that moment, for my mother's elder sister, a woman that I have always been very fond of, to acknowledge, without making a big deal out of it, this part of my identity...well, it really moved me. It confirmed what I have long believed to be true; that my relatives in Bangkok love and accept me unconditionally, just as I am.

After lunch, my mother and I dropped off both aunties. Pah Maliwan was going to her Private Members Club to meet up with my cousins while Pah Naruhnee was heading home. My mother drove us to Silom and as we went past Bangkok's infamous Patpong district, I realised that we were approaching the hub of gay nightlife in Bangkok, Silom Soi 2-4, which turned out to be Pah Naruhnee's turf! She is the landlady for all the bars and clubs patronized by any gay person who has ever lived in or visited Bangkok, locals and expats. As we pulled away, I commented to my mother and aunt that these two alleys owned by their friend are full of bars and clubs. Both of them casually replied, that's correct, gay bars! Good times! Think I might have to visit Pah Naruhnee's hood before I leave Bangkok in a few days. It won't be my first time there and certainly won't be my last!

Zachary Quinto is gay, proud and HAWT!

Over the weekend, New York magazine published an interview with the American actor Zachary Quinto (Sylar of TV's 'Heroes' and Spock in the 2009 reboot of the Star Trek franchise) in which the star acknowledges what many media outlets, especially those in the gay media, have long speculated - that he is a proud and sexy gay man. Okay, so he didn't call him 'sexy' (I kinda added that coz I think he's a total babe) but he did refer to himself as 'a gay man' twice. I am loving the fact that Zachary Quinto publicly acknowledged his sexual orientation for the first time in such an astute manner - he put it in the context of a greater discussion about the advancement of gay rights and the continued struggle for equality. It was sensitive and incredibly smart as it deflects some of the attention that inevitably comes whenever a public figure officially 'comes out'. He reveals that what prompted him to talk about his political status as a gay man (let's face it - in the world that we all live in, to lead an open life as a gay person is a political statement, whether intended or not) was the recent suicide of American gay teenager Jamey Rodemeyer. Zachary commented on his intention for talking about his private life on his website:

'when i found out that jamey rodemeyer killed himself – i felt deeply troubled. but when i found out that jamey rodemeyer had made an it gets better video only months before taking his own life – i felt indescribable despair. i also made an it gets better video last year – in the wake of the senseless and tragic gay teen suicides that were sweeping the nation at the time. but in light of jamey’s death – it became clear to me in an instant that living a gay life without publicly acknowledging it – is simply not enough to make any significant contribution to the immense work that lies ahead on the road to complete equality. our society needs to recognize the unstoppable momentum toward unequivocal civil equality for every gay lesbian bisexual and transgendered citizen of this country. gay kids need to stop killing themselves because they are made to feel worthless by cruel and relentless bullying. parents need to teach their children principles of respect and acceptance. we are witnessing an enormous shift of collective consciousness throughout the world. we are at the precipice of great transformation within our culture and government. i believe in the power of intention to change the landscape of our society – and it is my intention to live an authentic life of compassion and integrity and action. jamey rodemeyer’s life changed mine. and while his death only makes me wish that i had done this sooner – i am eternally grateful to him for being the catalyst for change within me. now i can only hope to serve as the same catalyst for even one other person in this world. that – i believe – is all that we can ask of ourselves and of each other.'

I'm excited to see how Mr Quinto will be able to affect social change now that he has lifted the veil on his identity. Judging from how articulate he is, I have no doubt that he'll become a refreshing new voice in the advancement of gay rights in the US. In the meantime, let's enjoy this rather odd videoclip of him getting drenched in milk (in reverse motion, no less!) by Tyler Shields from May 2009. Implicit coming out statements don't get more explicit than this!

Shame on you, NY State Senate!

On Wednesday, the NY State Senate voted down the gay marriage bill 38-24. Yes, the Empire State, home of New York City, one of the gayest cities in the world, will not be handing out a marriage license to Adam and Steve anytime soon. The injustice and the regressive nature of this vote are too bewildering to speak of....so I will leave you with this beautiful speech given by Senator Diane Savino of Staten Island, NY. This lady manages to make so much sense of the whole debate and she does it with amazing grace and humor.

Fuck GI Joe! This is a real American hero!

Discharged National Guard First Lt. Dan Choi spoke at the National Equality March and his stunning battle cry in the fight for equality makes me hope that this fine specimen of a man will soon run for office! West Point graduate Choi appeared on The Rachel Maddow Show back in March, 2009, and spoke out against Don't Ask, Don't Tell. By coming out of the closet so publicly, Choi deliberately challenged a policy that he believes to be immoral and, as he puts it, 'a slap in the face' of soldiers. Soon after his television appearance, the Iraq war veteran received his discharge letter from the government. It seems like what the current civil rights movement really needs is a dynamic leader like Choi; someone who no longer has the patience and tolerance for the ignorance of the right and the empty promises of the left.

I love, love, LOVE Cynthia Nixon

Watch this amazing actress/public school system advocate/human rights activist give a rousing speech at the National Equality March over the weekend! Yes, yes, yes!!! She is so spot on about how the repeal of the Defense Of Marriage Act is mandatory and even if there was same sex marriage in all fifty states, not all citizens and families are equally protected under the law if DOMA still stands! People have to realize that this is not only about the right to throw a big party and declare and celebrate your love (as important and beautiful as that is!) but it's about giving everybody the same rights to protect themselves and their loved ones from the same economic, social and political challenges, complications and obstacles that every single member of society faces! So, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Barack Obama, it is time to fulfill the promise of your presidency and 'move beyond words'!

On a side note, it has been widely reported that the currently shooting sequel to 2008's "Sex and the City: The Movie", starring the fabulous Cynthia Nixon herself (along with three other broads who should have been taking part in this march if they cared at all about reciprocating the goodwill that the gay community has given them over the years!) will feature a same sex wedding (I won't give away the parties involved in this union but true fans won't have any trouble speculating!).

I am also posting a video of Lady GaGa speaking at the same rally. It's good to see the hottest singer in pop right now put her money where her mouth is! I love how she actually put on clothes to punctuate how serious a cause this is to her! We love you for doing your part, GaGa...cherry, cherry, boom, boom, indeed! Meanwhile, where the hell was Madonna? Madonna, I will always love you but show your gay fans, the ones who supported you through two divorces, that Pepsi controversy, your Sex book backlash and even, The Next Best Thing, the same love and loyalty that they have always given you!

The X Factor Season 6 begins

Full disclosure - I love American Idol and The X Factor...I resisted reality tv for the longest time and it was really only last year that I really got into American Idol and The X Factor. Why did I resist it for so long? I don't know...probably some churlishly arrogant part of me thought that I was above the mass appeal of these shows, that I was more discerning than that, which, if I really think about it, was absurd because I was watching Julia Roberts movies and listening to Madonna since I was 10 years old!

Since The X Factor airs in the UK on a Saturday evening, I rarely ever see it on its first airing and I have to play catch-up later on YouTube. I already read about the highlights from this first audition episode of the new season so I knew about who did a good job and who...well, didn't. I think that many of us like to indulge that childish side of us that take pleasure in the humiliation of others...hell, I'm as guilty as anyone else...however, at the very least, you gotta respect them for having the gall to go through with their fantasy, as foolhardy as it may seem to some, to be brave enough to share your aspiration with the world.

What excites me more are the auditions that take our collective breath away...the ones that confound us by exceeding our expectations and then, putting us in the rather uncomfortable position of having to question ourselves over how we came to form such negative notions about perfect strangers in the first place...honestly, did we learn nothing from the marvellous Susan Boyle? By the way, this year, the producers of The X Factor decided to adopt a live audience structure for the first audition process, à la Britain's Got Talent (not surprising since Simon Cowell is responsible for both shows), and while I think that the change is for the better, I couldn't help but think that by doing so, the show just made Britain's Got Talent that much more redundant.

Joseph McElderry is a cute 18-year old boy who sang 'Dance with My Father' by Luther Vandross...it's kinda made me cringe, though, when certain members of the judging panel commented on how 'the girls' are gonna love him...as if gay men don't even exist...even more ironic hearing it from the mouth of dubious closet case, Louis Walsh. I couldn't find a full clip of his audition to embed on here so you'll just have to go on YouTube and search for this young man yourselves.



A 19-year-old single mother from Dagenham, Stacey Solomon made a similarly smart and mature song choice, singing Louis Armstrong's 'What a Wonderful World'.

New in Provincetown

As I take a break from criticizing the career choices of former Oscar-winners (it's called tough love, Renée, but seriously, I can't wait for BJ3...and did you get the homage to your last movie in my post title?), I am going to share with you all some photos from my holiday...not that I think you should care about what I did on my vacation but hey, this is my blog and I can talk about whatever I want! So, above is a shot of me on the Pier, the gayest of gay places to hang out along the Hudson River Park on Manhattan's west side, with my friend, the beautiful model/actress, Noelle (a.k.a. Nellie) Lynch.

While it's always a joy to return to NY (it'll always feel like going home), the main event of this trip was a gay wedding in Provincetown, Massachusetts.

It was my first time in Provincetown and it was incredible for me to experience a part of America that was so open to gay culture while, at the same time, managed to have a historical and contemporary identity beyond its sexual inclusivity. This is the site where the first pilgrims from Europe arrived in America...and we know how well that turned out for the Native Americans but I disgress...and even today, there's a lovely sense of classic Americana that's almost anachronistic in Obama's USA. There were many highlights to my short trip to Provincetown, including the incredible 2lbs lobster that I had for lunch the day before the wedding.

As an out and proud gay man, the issue of same-sex marriage equality is very important to me. Having carefully followed the progress that had been made in America since the hateful passing of Proposition 8 in California last November, it was with great joy and poignancy that I got to witness another gay couple being afforded the same dignity and generosity of spirit that would be given to a straight couple celebrating their love and commitment to each other.

Every couple's love is special and a gift but unfortunately, not every gay couple are as lucky as my friends are - to be able to proclaim their love to the world and make their union a legal entity. With six states affording the same-sex couple the right to marriage, the rest of America better wake up soon and realize how important love is to the progress of society, whether it's between straight or gay couple.